Friday, 12 May 2017

The Diary of Miss Darcy Bustle: 12 May

The Lady's office dog tells all

Written by Miss Darcy Bustle
I thought about my mummy today when I read the story of Noodle the Poodle from County Durham who had adopted a little lamb called Debby after her mummy rejected her. My mummy didn’t actually reject me but she did die which made me feel lonely even though I had my brother, Boysie. I wonder if Debby will be able to stay in the house forever or will she have to live outside one day?

About 6am this morning a thrush flew in through our kitchen window and then flapped around the house looking anxious and lost. I tried to help her by jumping up and down and barking but that just seemed to make her get into such a flap that her feathers started to fall out, then Lulu Guinness came along and that really didn’t help. While the poor thing dive-bombed around the hallway, Lulu did some impressive acrobatics trying to scratch her – she can be frightening. In the end, the editor’s husband came along and opened the back door to freedom. Hopefully she will get down to the shops and buy herself a feather boa to cover up the gaps.

noodle'Sheepdog' Noodle

We got a letter today from a reader called Lillian who is concerned that her dog, Lala, is depressed. Lillian didn’t know that dogs can get depressed – Lala is a labrador and they are usually really very sunny – but her vet has told her that giving up food and refusing to join in with her old games are symptoms of being blue. Lala’s old friend, Benjy the retriever, died last year and Lillian has decided not to replace him. It is really hard for doggies because we don’t have a way of saying that we are lonely but it sounds to me that Lala might cheer up if a new puppy came along. Duffle was very sad when his old pal Poppy died but then he got me – not exactly what he wanted, but he seems to put up with it!

Andrea has built a new ‘work area’ for me in her office. It’s actually an old hamper basket with a blanket in it with plenty of room to hide the bones that she gives meto ‘research’. Andrea says I shouldn’t mention this work to the editor as it is ‘highly sensitive’. Kath says that’s code for ‘this will get you into trouble’.

I’m off to the Affordable Art Fair in Hampstead this weekend because an award-winning portrait artist called Alma Haser is setting up a dog photo booth. Apparently dogs are now the most photographed members of the family; 44 per cent of owners take more pictures of their dogs than anyone else. And why not? Some of us are rather good at vogueing and one in 10 of us now have our own Instagram accounts. I know that cats think they rule social media but I’m sorry (and at the risk of sounding catty!) there doesn’t appear to be a cat photo booth.

See you next week! Instagram @missdarcybustle

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