Friday, 21 October 2016

The Diary of Miss Darcy Bustle: 21 October

The Lady’s lovable new office dog tells all

Written by Miss Darcy Bustle
It keeps raining and I can’t seem to get anyone to understand that I don’t like getting wet. I don’t even want to look at a puddle. What if I drown? My legs are only three and half inches high and the potholes in London are so deep that I could drop in and never be seen again. The editor says she will try and get me a sou’wester and a pair of wellies. But why doesn’t she just get me a chauffeur?

The editor got sent a book called Old Faithful: Dogs of a Certain Age and it has made everyone feel a little bit weepy. Melonie said that I was too young to understand why Sam the 17-year-old chihuahua’s story was so moving. I might still be practising my reading, but I can talk dog and I can see his story in his 17-year- old face. He’s old but he’s happy, his eyes say, and he’s got somewhere warm and cosy to live. 

According to the office calendar, there are only 68 days to Christmas. I am so excited. This will be my first ever Christmas. Harold the wirehaired dachshund from The Covent Gardener says he gets his list off to Santa early. Leave big hints lying around, he told me. So I went to Joules with James Crawford-Smith and Melonie and got them to take a picture of me next to my wish list. I do hope that’s clear enough. 

Everyone at the office was sad to hear today that the King of Thailand had died. This makes our own Queen the longest-serving monarch in the world. She is already the most glorious monarch in the world, of course. The King of Thailand is going to be succeeded by his son, the Crown Prince, who is still bereft from the death of his poodle, Fufu. He loved Fufu so much that he once made him Air Chief Marshal of the Royal Thai Air Force. I get vertigo, so would like to say now that I really don’t want that to happen to me.

Kath my friend from downstairs sent the editor a video of a lion on Facebook who has become friends with two dachshunds – they like to run around in the lion’s cage and play with his beard. Now the editor thinks I could go and interview them all. I think Kath should be made to come with me.

We went to Hastings for their fireworks and bonfire society celebrations this evening and I wasn’t frightened at all. Not like Duffle. Duffle tried hiding under the bed because he doesn’t like the bangs. So I tried to help him by biting his tail to try and get him out. It’s fun, I said. I think he liked that even less than the fireworks.

See you next week @missdarcybustle 

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