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A letter from Patricia Marie

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 19 December 2014
Dear readers,

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for sending me your problems and dilemmas over the past year.
I take time to read each and every one of them and feel privileged that you have trusted me with your most intimate concerns.

Over the past few weeks I have received numerous emails relating to Christmas, highlighting that this time of year for various reasons can be a very stressful time.

Many of us are extremely busy, and once all the shopping for gifts and food has been completed, the cards written, the house decorated, and presents wrapped, we can all be left feeling completely exhausted. Sometimes our happy ever after image of the perfect family scene does not work out as we had originally planned. Maybe its the heightened expectation or indeed, the stress of it all.

This time of year extended family get-togethers can sometimes prove rather challenging. If you sense tension rising - suggest a good walk which can often diffuse the most awkward situation.

Whilst Christmas inevitably is about compromise, finding time to visit numerous friends and relatives, having to entertain at home - it is also a time when many are having to face loneliness. If you know of anyone who will be spending Christmas alone, ask yourself is there anything you could do to improve their situation. Would it be possible for you to invite them to join you for lunch, or if they would prefer to be in their own home, could you offer to take a meal to them, and perhaps include a small gift - you would be bringing the spirit of Christmas to someone who would have otherwise felt isolated at this significant time.

Relaxation is most important for our wellbeing, more so at this time of year. Allow yourself some peaceful time, get to enjoy a nice walk, read a good book or your favourite magazine - indeed anything that would offer you some precious time away from the hustle and bustle the festive season brings.

And finally, I hope Christmas magic finds each and every one of you, and shall look forward to being here for you next year throughout 2015 whenever you may need me.

Very best wishes,
Patricia Marie.

THE SILVER LINE helpline (0800 4708090), set up last year by Esther Rantzen, offers help, comfort and support for all those facing loneliness, not only during the festive season, but 24 hours a day.


Have a dilemma? Please email Patricia.Marie@lady.co.uk  Please note, while Patricia cannot respond to all emails, she does read them all.


In need of further support? Patricia Marie offers a counselling service in Harley Street, contact details as follows



I'm so scared & I can't concentrate

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
Guest has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Friday, 24 January 2014
Dear Patricia Marie,

I haven't had the best start to 2014, my grandad is very unwell with Parkinson's disease and my father was rushed into hospital after Christmas with a suspected stroke due to stress. The following week my partner lost a very dear friend to cancer who was just 19 years old. I am scared at the thought of losing somebody and I am in the middle of my exams at university which I just can't concentrate on.

Thank you for your help.

Patricia Marie says...

Am not surprised you are unable to concentrate on your exams and urge you to make an appointment with The Student Services at your university, who can offer you help and support during this very difficult time. I would also recommend a visit to your GP who could refer you for some counselling which would be of great benefit to you.

Having close family who are ill can put a strain on your health and well being, and make one fearful of the future. The tragic loss of your partner's friend being so young is particularly cruel and highlighting your fear of loss. It is understandable that you are feeling so scared given the emotional circumstances.

Whilst we are unable to predict the future, we can learn to cope better with the here and now. In addition to professional help, having a good friend who can support you at this time would make a huge difference to how you feel. Sometimes just being able to talk when you want to about difficult things, can make you feel better and make things easier to cope with.

During this stressful time, whether you go for a walk, to the gym or simply enjoy a long soak in the bath, taking time out is a healthy and very important coping mechanism.

Cruse offer face to face, telephone, e.mail and web bereavement support and counselling, which may be of benefit to your partner. Cruse bereavement 0844 477 9400, helpline@cruse.org.uk

Got a dilemma, please email Patricia.Marie@lady.co.uk
Please note, while Patricia cannot respond to all emails, she does read them all.

In need of further support? Patricia Marie offers a counselling service in Harley Street, contact details as follows



Too demanding

Posted by Patricia_Marie
Patricia_Marie
Guest has not set their biography yet
User is currently offline
on Friday, 17 January 2014
Dear Patricia Marie,

I am lucky enough to have just moved into our dream home, it's everything we could have imagined and wished for. However, my feelings have changed dramatically I have just paid the first large mortgage payment. This has really stretched my budget, I am working around the clock to try and meet these demands unfortunately, this is not the only problem. My wife loves the new home and enjoys spending a lot of time at the gym getting very fit and showing off our new beautiful home to all our friends. She has become very demanding in the bedroom and I am worried that I cannot constantly satisfy her both financially and sexually as I am constantly tired.

Patricia Marie says...

The excitement of moving into your dream home has now been replaced with the reality of having to work hard to pay for it. Your need to please your wife is clearly putting you under intense pressure, and if your not careful your constant wanting to make her happy by working every hour, which you say is exhausting you, could turn to resentment. You don't mention if your wife works, but have given the impression she has much spare time, therefore, wondering if there is any way she could help contribute to the finances and eliminate some of your stress.

Instead of suppressing your feelings, you need to be opening up to your wife, telling her how you feel and hopefully she will be understanding, helpful and supportive. Remember, you are a partnership and she may be upset, even feel rejected that you have been isolating her from your worries. A successful marriage is not just about having good times but dealing with the difficulties life brings and bonding from such experiences. You say she has become demanding in the bedroom, this may be about her trying to get some attention from you, other than the obvious. If you and your wife can work together on how things can change to make life easier, your stress and anxiety will ease, your libido should return, then hopefully you can both get to enjoy your relationship in your well deserved home.


Got a dilemma, please email Patricia.Marie@lady.co.uk
Please note, while Patricia cannot respond to all emails, she does read them all.

In need of further support? Patricia Marie offers a counselling service in Harley Street, contact details as follows


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