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Trying to cope with SIDS

Posted by Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 25 April 2014
Dear Patricia Marie,

My niece's closest friend lost her baby of 10 months to SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) last year.

My niece who was also a godmother to the baby, is now expecting her first child and although she is delighted, she is filled with anxiety about SIDS. I am extremely close to my niece as her parents both died when she was a teenager and she lived with me until she married two years ago.

This should be a happy time for her, but her fear around something happening to the baby is taking all the joy away.

What can I do to help her?

Patricia Marie says...

I am very sorry to her your niece is so anxious, but given the circumstances, this is fully understandable. SIDS is devastating, and as your niece was closely connected to her friend and baby, she too experienced a loss. At the time, she was possibly so focused on supporting her friend, that it may not have seemed appropriate to let herself acknowledge that loss, but now she is pregnant, its normal that some of her grief is showing up as anxiety about her own baby, which can also reinforce the tragic loss of her parents.

The key to surviving grief while your pregnant is to surround yourself with people who love, comfort and care for you, and this includes professional care, so do encourage your niece to speak with her midwife, who is there to help with any fears.

Am thinking if your niece has not had any counselling regarding the loss of her parents, bereavement counselling would be of great help to her. Cruse Bereavement is an excellent organisation dedicated to helping those struggling with loss. 0844 477 9400; The Lullaby Trust can also help, 0808 802 6868; lullaby This charity does incredible work to support those who have been affected by the sudden death of a baby or toddler.

I strongly recommend your niece reads 'SIDS & Infant Death Survival Guide: Information & Comfort for the Grieving Family and the Friends Who Seek to Help Them', an outstanding book, beneficial to all affected by SIDS.

Got a dilemma, please email 
Please note, while Patricia cannot respond to all emails, she does read them all.

In need of further support? Patricia Marie offers a counselling service in Harley Street, contact details as follows

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