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Mother's Day

Posted by Patricia_Marie
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on Thursday, 03 March 2016
As Mother's Day approaches, not everyone will be happily celebrating. For those who have lost a mother, it can be a daunting day, especially if this is the first one without mum. The day may also bring mixed and complex feelings to women who have experienced the loss of a child, infertility or miscarriage. They may struggle to cope with the memories and emotions which this day triggers, and may feel very unsettled.

For those who need a little support at this time, I offer some guidance to help you get through...

The Loss of a Mother
If you have lost your mother, this day could prove to be overwhelming, so be gentle on yourself. Do something positive, and perhaps choose an activity that will connect you - be comforted by looking at photographs of her, revisiting places you know she loved, spraying some of her favourite perfume, or listening to significant pieces of music, to relive those special memories. You may find this upsetting at first, but it will allow you to feel her presence, and as time goes on, it could become your own ritual. To honour her memory, plant a living memorial in the form of a tree or rose bush. You may still want to buy a Mother's Day card, to celebrate this day in your own unique way. She may not be here - but is still very much your mum.

The Loss of a Child
The death of a child is a loss like no other. If you feel yourself struggling during this significant day, light a candle in their memory, which could make you feel especially close to your child at this time. You may feel anger, sadness, or guilt, because they died before you. These emotions are very common with grief - don't try to suppress them. No matter how long since your loss, if you are still suffering, consider joining a bereavement group which could help you to feel understood, and give you hope, that if others can survive their loss - so can you. In time your focus can hopefully shift away from your child's death towards remembering your child's life.

And celebrating the day...
If you are celebrating this Mother's Day with your family, relish and enjoy every single wonderful minute. If you are wanting to treat mum, try not to be influenced by the multitude of gifts on sale. Instead treat her to something far more worthwhile like breakfast in bed, an offer to clean the house, or work through that pile of ironing. Perhaps bake her a cake, and get to enjoy some quality time with her. These gestures from the heart would, I'm sure, mean far more to her. And if you know anyone who may be reminded of a heart breaking loss on this day, perhaps help ease their pain by a small act of kindness, such as offering a card, flowers, or words of encouragement, which could make a huge difference to the way they are feeling.

Life goes on, and we must embrace it. Hopefully there will be plenty to look forward to in the future, and, however you do, or don't celebrate this occasion, I wish each and every one of you a very happy Mother's Day.


For additional help, advice and support, contact:
Cruse Bereavement Care: 0844 477 9400 www.cruse.org.uk
SANDS is a national charity which can offer you support when your baby dies during pregnancy or after. 020 7436 5881 www.uk-sands.org

Mother's Day Misery

Posted by Mum About Town
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on Thursday, 12 March 2015
How does Mother's Day make you feel? Self-congratulatory? A little smug? So happy and content you could burst?

On the contrary, it makes me feel somewhat melancholy and a trifle guilty. Actually really, truly guilty. And because it's such a curious contrast as to how the Smalls want me to feel, I had better try and explain myself.

Firstly, Mother's Day reminds me of how brilliant my mother is. Sometimes I wonder if she is just too daunting an act to follow. Motherhood (along with marriage) is the hardest job we've ever signed up for. It feels like a continual hike up a very steep mountain, with very few bit pit stops. I STILL ask my mother a million questions a week. And this makes me feel sad. What will I do when I can't consult my mother the oracle any longer? I'll be so lost...

This brings me to my second melancholy thought. More than 4 of my besties are already unable to ask their mother how to descale their iron, get rid of a child's hacking cough or take those small people off their hands for an hour of peace. And I feel so SO sad for them. I almost wish I could share my mother with them to make it fairer.

Before I cause mothers up and down the country to fling themselves on the floor in a pool of tears, I do have one more miserable thought. All those thank you messages and I love you cards bring out the great guilt. Am I a good enough mother really? Couldn't I be less short with them? Listen to their detailed stories with undivided attention?

I suppose the bottom line is that it's our day, Mums. They want (and need) to thank us. It's just that it's sometimes hard to stomach.

Turn Mother’s Day into a Spa Day

Posted by The powder room
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on Wednesday, 06 March 2013
Perhaps the biggest thing about being a mum isn’t the years of perpetual tiredness, hollering up the stairs to question why the day’s activities are now decorating the living room, and a never ending stream of questions that can be summed up by the phrase ‘I want something’, but simply the sheer weight of responsibility it involves.

For this reason, it seems that the great benefit of being a ‘grown up’ child, so to speak, is that rather than simply buying a gift for our mums on Mother’s Day, arranging something special for her to do without her having to worry about the organizational details is likely to be the best gift of all. So naturally, being the spa fan that I am, I can see no finer option than to do this in the form of a spa day (or break if you’re feeling flash).

This is a conclusion I come to, not just as the Editor of Spabreaks.com you understand, but also because, with that privilege, comes the knowledge that in 2013, a spa day can encompass a whole catalogue of different things to suit all manner of mums. So I thought I would share a little selection with you …

Sofitel So SPA
Sofitel So SPA, London
www.spabreaks.com/venues/sofitel-so-spa

For a really decadent treat, you would be hard pushed to find somewhere as beautiful and well located as Sofitel So SPA St James. Practically next door to St James’s Palace, it was once a Lloyds Bank subsidiary and owned by The Crown Estate, so the layout of the spa is anything but what you would expect. The ceiling in the reception area, where there is also a long marble table to sit at with a glass of Kir Royale, is impossibly high, and above you can see the stuccoed ceiling that has been retained. Detail is key here, and the part I particularly like about their So Mumnifique spa package, is the inclusion of a Rose Kir Royal, and rose macaroon to match.

Amida Spa Farnham, Surrey
www.spabreaks.com/venues/amida-spa-farnham

If you plan on making your mum’s spa day a group occasion, Amida Spa Farnham has a wealth of facilities to occupy you from morning ‘till night, and enough space to make you feel as though you pretty much have the place to yourself, despite its popularity. We are talking saunas for 20, multiple pools, underwater speakers, and five relaxation rooms!

Lifehouse Spa and Hotel, Essex
www.spabreaks.com/venues/lifehouse-spa-hotel

With an on-site naturopath who works tirelessly to create spa experiences where everything from the food to the treatment complements one another, this is the place that makes being healthy fun. It is an ultra modern building that’s all white and slate grays peppered with modern art, but it is constructed around the remains of a 19th century manor house and 130 acres of gardens, which pay homage to historic visitors including Winston Churchill and Rudyard Kipling. If you want to address a particular health issue and treat it as a day of detox and fitness, this is your chance, but if you would rather, Prosecco and organic cakes are also on the menu.

Lighthouse spa and hotel

Danesfield House Hotel, Buckinghamshire
www.spabreaks.com/venues/danesfield-house-hotel

A converted Victorian country mansion with views across the Buckinghamshire countryside, the spa and hotel at Danesfield House Hotel are in separate buildings and have contrasting vibes – one being modern, the other historic, and it is definitely a place to stay overnight. The last time I visited it was snowing, and the hotel looked like a fairytale castle, all white against the pristine backdrop. Suites have four-poster beds, and living areas are fit for a Tudor queen, so when visiting you need to leave enough time to simply luxuriate in the different spaces – from sitting by the fire, to a swim with a view, and a stroll around the grounds.

The Garage, County Durham
www.spabreaks.com/venues/the-garage

It’s a bit of an unusual one for Mother’s Day, but The Garage is a day spa that’s wonderfully characterful and homely without compromising on style. Its name comes from the site’s history as a resting place for travelers to stop and refuel their various modes of transport – depending on which era you look back to that could be a horse or a car – they have seen it all. These days, they keep the history alive with a slightly different sort of MOT, in the form of rest, recuperation and lots of spa treatments using locally sourced ingredients such as honey and rose petals. I think it is particularly charming that the spa packages have been thoughtfully named as well, including The Coastal Path, and The Scenic Route.

Ruthin Castle, Wales
www.spabreaks.com/venues/ruthin-castle-hotel

A fusion of Finnish, Russian and Siberian spa experiences, Ruthin Castle is unique for its indoor/outdoor elements in the grounds of a medieval castle, so there is definitely something of the earth mother about this one. It also provides a fascination for history buffs as the castle itself was built by Edward I in 1277 with later owners including Henry VIII and Elizabeth I. Completing the picture, they also use Welsh mud, and bespoke treatments featuring ingredients such as ginger, argan oil and tea tree, many of which are locally sourced – which for all its old fashioned charm is really the ultimate in contemporary escapism!

Words by Bonnie Friend

Cornwall mums "most pampered" on Mother’s Day

Posted by The powder room
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on Monday, 04 March 2013
The most pampered mums in the Britain are from Cornwall, and mums in the county receive the most lavish gifts on Mother’s Day, says beauty retailer Escentual.com.

On average the amount spent last year on perfume and beauty gifts for Cornish mum’s was £62.44, and Falmouth, in Cornwall, was Britain’s most generous town with sons and daughters spending £106 on average on Mother’s Day presents.

Northallerton in North Yorkshire had the lowest average spend in Britain for Mother’s Day at £7.12.

The five most generous towns were:
  • Falmouth in Cornwall (£106),
  • Royal Leamington Spa in Warwickshire (£102),
  • Pudsey in West Yorkshire (£97.62),
  • Bicester in Oxfordshire (£91),
  • Nuneaton in Warwickshire (£88)

While the five most pampered counties in Great Britain were:
  • Cornwall (£62.44),
  • South Glamorgan (£60.35),
  • Warwickshire (£55.74),
  • Derbyshire (£55.39),
  • Oxfordshire (£54.90)

The five least generous towns were:
  • Northallerton in North Yorkshire (£7.12),
  • Wallasey in Merseyside (£11.95),
  • Epsom in Surrey (£12.32),
  • Silchester in Hampshire (£16.50),
  • Wootton Bassett in Wiltshire (£18.50)

And the least generous counties were:
  • Shropshire (£26.51),
  • South Humberside (£29.76),
  • Ayrshire (£30.40),
  • Dorset (£30.84),
  • Herefordshire (£32.19)

The results, compiled Escentual.com from their nationwide Mother’s Day sales figures, also show that British sons and daughters spend an average of £41.23 on beauty and perfume gifts for their mums.

Escentual.com CEO Rakesh Aggarwal said: "There was a huge variation on expenditure for Mother’s Day gifts across the Britain but Cornwall, and Falmouth in particular, were by far the most generous. But it’s the thought that counts on Mother’s Day, so any present given on the day will always be cherished."

Escentual.com’s best selling Mother’s Day products so far for this year are:

1) Crabtree & Evelyn Happy Hands Gift Set
2) Tisserand Luxury Bath Soak
3) Roger & Gallet Perfumed Soaps Gifts Set
4) Tisserand Soothing Wheat Cushion
5) Guerlain Rouge Automatique Lipstick

Words by Katy Pearson


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