Agony Aunt

Patricia Marie, MBACP qualified counsellor is a member of The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, practising in Harley Street, Essex and Scotland. She has many years experience of dealing with domestic violence, relationship problems, bereavement, depression, addictions, post traumatic stress and many other emotional issues. If you have a dilemma, please email

Stuck in a rut

Posted by Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 05 February 2016
Dear Patricia Marie,

I've never written to an Agony Aunt before, and thought I would try this time, as I have read some of your answers to others' problems and am comforted by how thoughtfully you reply.

I am at a crossroads in my life, trying to decide whether to move home, stay with my partner, change jobs, everything really. One of my friends suggested I go to see a clairvoyant who may be able to point me in the right direction. I am feeling stuck, and desperately need some help in making decisions, but am not sure whether I would just be wasting my time. How do I know what they tell me is not just made-up nonsense? Do you think I should go?

Patricia Marie says...

When we feel unhappy with our lot, be it in our relationships, career, health or other matters, we can either be inspired to make different choices or become paralysed with fear. It seems you are feeling overwhelmed at this moment, and panicking, wanting to alter your life overnight. However, making hasty decisions will be sure to bring, not contentment, but chaos to your already turbulent emotions, so instead can you ask yourself "Which is the one area of my life that I feel by changing, could make me happier?" Often small changes can make a huge overall impact, and become the catalyst for further shifts in one's lifestyle.

The purpose of a clairvoyant is not to tell you what to do, but to highlight the choices you have before you, and give you a psychic insight to what could happen if you take different paths. However, you will need to have a little faith that your chosen clairvoyant can help guide you, so I suggest that if possible you visit a reputable one who is recommended to you. Naturally there are no guarantees, but if your psychic were to convey to you that in the not too distant future things are expected to turn out well, it could encourage you to make those changes in your life.

Have you considered some professional guidance such as Relate, to help with your faltering relationship, or a meeting with a recruitment agency to explore alternative career opportunities? Ask yourself why you feel the need to move – do you expect a change of address to rejuvenate your life? If you are merely running from your problems, most, if not all, will still remain after the move, unless you address them, and work towards solutions.

Whilst you are at this crossroads, it could be helpful to receive both support and guidance, whether it be from a clairvoyant, or any other source, but ultimately, making our own decisions about the future can be empowering, and one of the most satisfying lessons in life.
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