Thursday, 01 June 2017

The Diary of Miss Darcy Bustle: 2 June

The Lady's lovable office dog tells all

Written by Miss Darcy Bustle
I am beginning to think that Duffle is really antisocial. He never tries to cuddle up to me and whenever I sneak in for a little hug, he gets up and walks away. In fact, he sort of huffs. For instance, this afternoon when I got home from work, he was sleeping on the armchair, keeping cool by the open window, so I jumped up and snuggled right in. He only lasted two minutes before jumping down and stomping off. I’m thinking of writing about it to Patricia Marie, our Agony Aunt. I wonder if she does doggies ?

This morning, Melonie showed me some pictures taken by a woman called Erin Einbender in America, who has taken pity on doggies who have had operations and are forced to wear ‘cones of shame’: those really unpleasant plastic things that stop them from biting out their stiches. Erin decided to decorate them and do a photo shoot called Cones of Fame. The models all live in her local dogs’ shelter and Erin helped them find new homes. I really want one!

One of Andrea’s cats has had kittens and don’t we know it? ‘Aren’t they cute?’ ‘Look at their little faces’, the whole office is smitten, but Andrea is deliriously besotted. ‘But what about me?’ I want to say. ‘What about my little face that doesn’t seem to fit any more?’ But instead I do my best to look disinterested and hope for the day when they stop looking so cute. At least they’re not coming into the office, at least I don’t think they are.

IMG 1850Abandoned- again

Annabel’s, the swankiest club in London (it’s the only nightclub HM The Queen has ever visited) has had a £55 million makeover and is politely opening its doors to well-connected dogs – they have to be accompanied by a fully paid-up member, apparently. The club is employing a professional dog walker to tend to their every need and will take them out for a walk and supervise grooming, snacks and naps. Rebecca Burdess, the director of membership, says that they aren’t snooty about their canine guests. ‘Any member’s dog is precious, whether they are a rescue dog or a pedigree.’ And corgis, of course, royal corgis are welcome any time.

Lyra the Labrador from Poole sent me a letter today, saying that scoffing the chicken pie at the cricket tea is very non-U, but that cricket is very boring so she understood why I did it. That was sweet of her but, to be honest, I’ve yet to meet a Labrador who wouldn’t scoff a whole chicken pie, any pie, given half a chance!

See you next week! Instagram @missdarcybustle

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