Friday, 14 July 2017

The Diary of Miss Darcy Bustle: 14 July

The Lady’s lovable office dog tells all

Written by Miss Darcy Bustle
It was the Pride parade in London over the weekend. I never knew that there were so many proud gay dogs – hundreds of them had dressed up and joined in. Their outfits were amazing – and this is a tough crowd. Naturally, there were a fair few poodles, and several Chihuahuas, but my vote goes to a big butch-looking Staffie – like many of them, a softie at heart of course.

The cartoonist Sally Ann Lasson came for tea today and Gillian bought a cake with real cream. Gillian must really like her. We had a long chat about how she misses Rovi Rovington, the late great dachsie gent. He would sometimes appear in her cartoon strip in The Independent. She said she would like to immortalise me in a cartoon as well. I think it’s possible this could be the start of a new relationship. Although she can’t love me that much as she ate all the cake and didn’t offer me any.

Duffle finally got his hair stripped, which is a relief, as he was beginning to look like a shaggy dog and he panted all the time. That just isn’t a good look when you’re standing next to him in the park. Border terriers have to be stripped by hand and it takes hours, literally hours. Nobody has ever mentioned haircuts to me – I don’t think I will ever need one. But what I do need is more attention. After I’ve been brushed, someone is supposed to rub my coat all over with a silk scarf apparently. Who is going to do that?

Some people suffer from anxiety, which can be terribly life-limiting – even doggies can get it. My friend Pearl the Pekinese has been very nervous about the park ever since she was chased by a really large collie who was trying to herd her into the flower bed. But dogs can also help with anxiety, like Boris the springer poodle who went to a graduation ceremony at the University of Reading. Dogs aren’t usually allowed to go but they agreed so that 19-year-old Hollie could go to see her sister Daisy graduate. Hollie suffers from anxiety so badly that, until she got Boris, she didn’t speak for two years. Boris looks lovely in that mortar. Maybe there should be degrees for dogs?

It’s only four weeks until I go on holiday to the south of France! My pet passport is all ready and I have started making a list of things to pack. The editor says this is mad given the length of time we’ve got to go. But Melonie says it’s important to be prepared. She does a packing spreadsheet. Now that is extreme…

See you next weekInstagram@missdarcybustle

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