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Terrible twos, threes, fours...Kids

Posted by Nanny Knows Best
Nanny Knows Best
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on Friday, 06 June 2014
“To anyone out there thinking about have kids, today my 2 year old threw a tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow”.

This story is hilarious to an adult but being a kid is not always fun and games. There is so much to learn. And sometimes it’s scary.

They don’t know the rules, and sometimes they don’t like the rules when informed. How are they meant to know that dogs bite when you try to take away the bone they are chewing? Adults are so bossy always telling them what to do, what not to do, and to stop doing “that”!

Four year old Kiki decided it was more fun to colour in her baby sister Polly, rather than using the markers in her colouring book. It made sense to her but not to mum who explained that you don’t colour real people, just the ones on paper.

And talking is not always easy either when they don’t have the words to tell you what they want/need/feel, so they cry. It’s like being plopped into an Inuit community in Alaska and trying to describe you are vegetarian in English to your host who doesn’t speak your language and who considers an apple exotic.

Toddlers are strapped in prams when they want to run free, served vegetables when they want fruit or cheese, and are put in bed when they want to play.

It’s a tough job learning everything about life and how to behave and to understand what’s right and wrong. Maybe the toughest job there is. So from all the two/three/four/five year olds who just wanna have fun and not get into trouble all the time, show a little kindness and a lot of patience.

Patience is a virtue?

Posted by Slummy single mummy
Slummy single mummy
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on Monday, 22 October 2012
I am not a patient person.

Sometimes I wonder if we’re born with a finite amount of patience, or if perhaps we are allocated a certain amount along with the birth of each child, and that I have simply used mine all up. “Congratulations,” the midwife says, placing the sticky, bloody bundle of joy on your loose, scarred stomach, “it’s a girl! You have 1,824 hours of joy and 2,782 hours of patience. Use them wisely.”

If your child is an adorable angel who sleeps through the night and shuns sweets in favour of raw carrot sticks and hummus dip, then you’re fine. You may even find them tolerable into their teenage years. If you have a more ‘sensitive’ baby though, then beware, 2,782 hours isn’t much.

When Belle was a baby, she hated being in the car and screamed at the mere sight of the car seat. The only way to soothe her was to sing the chorus from Agadoo.

“Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple shake the tree…”

You know the one.

It’s annoying enough just thinking about it isn’t it? Imagine singing it over and over and over again, accompanied only by grizzly baby noises. It’s a little wearing to put it mildly. Then imagine that when you go to bed that night, that you are woken up every hour by a wriggling baby, rooting incessantly, quiet only when they are chomping on your boob.

2,782 hours really doesn’t stretch that far.

Which is more than can be said for my boob.

For more from Jo Middleton go to www.slummysinglemummy.wordpress.com


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