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I attract the wrong type of man

Posted by Patricia_Marie
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on Friday, 14 February 2014
Dear Patricia Marie,

I feel that I am almost giving up on the gentleman species. I am thirty going on fifty! The type of men that I seem to meet are not worthy of me and appear to have no future prospects, I have even lowered my standards due to the lack of response. I seem to attract the useless, uncaring, selfish, non-committal man. About me, my friends tell me I'm very attractive, interesting and reliable. I hold a good position at work where I am valued and appreciated... Why can't this extend to my personal life...??!! Please help me.

Patricia Marie says...

You say most of the men you meet are not living up to your expectations, and considering giving up trying to find a partner. Yet, you believe by accepting less out of life, there is more chance of success. Lowering standards displays low self-esteem, which is why you are attracting the unfavourable type not worthy of you. These negative beliefs can arise from bad experiences, or not being valued or understood. In order to love someone, you must be able to love and respect yourself.

Seeing you for who you really are allows your colleagues to show unconditional respect and acceptance, which gives you confidence within your work environment. This can be extended to your personal life if you learn to see yourself in a positive light. Check out the Mind Website (www.mind.org.uk) where you will find useful tips on increasing self-esteem.

To improve your chances of finding a suitable partner, I would also suggest joining a reputable dating site, as well as embarking on some new hobbies or interests, all of which will enhance your social life, and will help gain your confidence and self-worth.

This Valentines day, do remember, whilst you may be without a partner, there are plenty of Valentines days in a lifetime, and many possible people with whom you could eventually fall in love with. Don't make the day about loneliness, make it about love, and even if you are single, perhaps treat yourself to a gift you would like to receive and very much deserve.


Got a dilemma, please email Patricia.Marie@lady.co.uk
Please note, while Patricia cannot respond to all emails, she does read them all.

In need of further support? Patricia Marie offers a counselling service in Harley Street, contact details as follows

Men Spend Longer On Grooming And Getting Ready Than Women

Posted by The powder room
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on Thursday, 24 January 2013
Males spend longer on their daily grooming routine than females, say new figures from Socked.co.uk – the sock subscription service for gentlemen.

The survey revealed a man can spend up to 75 minutes every day washing, shaving and styling themselves, compared with the 70 minutes that women spend on their beauty regime.

"This is superb news for the British gentleman," says Mark Hall, from Socked.co.uk. "At last they're paying more attention to their personal image, and mankind will be all the better for it." 

"Once men start to take care of themselves, they also start caring for the people and things around them. They turn from mere 'men' into 'gentlemen'." 

The poll also revealed:

  • 85% of men admitted to spending more than half an hour on hair styling
  • 42% said they owned a hair dryer
  • 36% said they owned hair straighteners
  • 98% said they planned at least 2 days in advance what they were going to wear

According to the survey, the average man owns four pairs of shoes, five pairs of jeans, 17 shirts, and 11 pairs of socks of varying quality. 

"The funny thing is," said Hall, "despite spending longer to get ready, it's still solely the male experience to be ready and waiting at the front door on a night out." 

"Is it simply because men are better at managing their time?" he asked, "Or is Einstein's Theory of Relativity at work, where time runs at different speeds in separate locations?"

Words by Katy Pearson

One in Ten British Men ‘Secret’ Make-Up Wearers

Posted by The powder room
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on Wednesday, 16 January 2013
A survey of British men has found that one in ten men admit to secretly using make-up, with men from Newcastle being the most likely to wear make-up; closely followed by men from Essex.

More than 1,800 men were surveyed by designer secret sales website HushHush.com to investigate men’s attitudes towards make-up and toiletries, as well as the number of British males who admit to wearing make-up.

When asked ‘Do you ever secretly wear make-up?’ 11% of respondents admitted that they did. When asked how often they did so, the majority, 52%, of these respondents said they did so ‘regularly’; while 21% admitted that they wore it ‘every day’.

These respondents were then asked to highlight which make-up products they used. The top five products used by those who said they secretly wore make-up were:

1. Concealer – 71% (of make-up-wearing respondents stating they used it)
2. Lip gloss – 64%
3. Eyeliner – 49%
4. Mascara – 31%
5. Bronzer – 18%

More than a third of the men taking part (37%), said they used fake tanning products; with the majority of these, (68%) preferring to use at-home products. The remainder said they preferred to go to spray-tanning salons and 14% of men also said that they regularly used tanning beds.

The survey then asked respondents who secretly wore make-up which town or city in the UK they lived in, revealing that Northerners are more likely to wear make-up than their Southern counterparts; with just three of the top ten towns and cities being located in the south.

The towns or cities in which men were most likely to secretly wear make-up were revealed as:

1. Newcastle
2. Essex
3. Liverpool
4. Leeds
5. Edinburgh
6. Manchester
7. Exeter
8. Nottingham
9. Cardiff
10. Middlesbrough

Mark Pearson, founder of HushHush.com, said: “With men in the public eye wearing make-up, including X Factor winner James Arthur, it appears to be becoming more acceptable. Despite this, the majority of men who wear make-up feel that they have to do so in secret, although in reality, people around them are bound to have noticed but, in true British style, are probably too polite to bring it up!”

Words by Katy Pearson

A third of men use their partners’ beauty products

Posted by The powder room
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on Wednesday, 01 August 2012

A new poll has revealed that 34 per cent of men use their partners’ beauty products. And not only are men increasingly using their partners’ products but they are also taking as long to get ready - more than 25 per cent of men admitted to spending the same time or longer as their partner in the bathroom.

Some 30 per cent of men shave or wax their body hair and almost 20 revealed they pluck their eyebrows. Yet only 11 per cent of men said they use concealer, 10 per cent use fake tan and a mere 1 per cent of use foundation.

The survey was conducted by Escentual.com, a leading beauty e-tailer, which sells both male and female beauty products. Founder Rakesh Aggarwal said: “The results are in line with the trend towards metrosexual grooming habits that we have seen in recent years. Men are definitely more aware of how to look after their skin and appearance than they were even five years ago”

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